writing-and-inspiration-blog asked: Awesome blog! I was reading the glossary and some of the charts and I was wondering what the term is for someone who can have sexual thoughts but doesn't want a sexual relationship and can "fall in love"/want a relationship with someone's thoughts and personality but not body would be. Any help would be awesome!
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It’s best not to give labels to specific preferences (that is why I don’t mention sapiosexual/sapioromantic) because too many labels can be overwhelming and unnecessary.
From what you describe I think possibly greysexual/grey-a? It really depends if those sexual thoughts are about someone in particular. If they aren’t then you would probably be asexual. Some asexuals can still be aroused by ideas or fantasies of sex where the people involved in these fantasies are not of someone you are attracted to. People often describe it as picturing people having sex but their faces are blurred and they are just generic people. Which means some asexuals can still be turned on by porn.
I really do hope that was of some help. If there is anything else, feel free to ask. :)
Thanks for the information! I was wondering if that was grey-a.
I did have something to add but didn’t have enough space in the “Ask” box. The other thing I wonder is if my sexual thoughts are character development for the fictional stuff I write rather than any indication of sexuality (or lack of). These sexual thoughts are about fictional people I invented for my writing or fanfiction with someone else’s characters. It’s weird because I’m not thinking so much about it as “Oh boy, me + this character!” as playing with the idea of “What if this happened?”. I’m never a self-inserted character in these thoughts; if I am a character I’m the one hearing about others’ activities or watching but not participating.
I keep reading and re-reading the above paragraph I wrote and I don’t know if the character development piece made sense, but I mention it because I’ve read where people say “If you think any sexual thoughts, regardless of context, you’re not asexual!” I had no idea whether there was truth to that or if they were uninformed/misinformed.